


boom

by Iteunmul



Series: 10 days of sulay aha [2]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Comedy, Demon Summoning, Demons, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Mentions of Anime, Romantic Comedy, screams into the void FAKE DATING AU, this sounds a lot more serious than it actually is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:55:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28058019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iteunmul/pseuds/Iteunmul
Summary: I can teach you baby, don’t fold under pressure.(Junmyeon needs a fake boyfriend for his friend's wedding, and apparently summoning a demon to be one is the best option).
Relationships: Kim Junmyeon | Suho/Zhang Yi Xing | Lay, hinted baeksoo
Series: 10 days of sulay aha [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2054949
Comments: 10
Kudos: 46





	boom

**Author's Note:**

> my talent is taking song lyrics so out of context they barely fit in with what was written and then and making them my summaries

Junmyeon groans, flopping forwards onto his desk, staring at the wall in dismay. He was running out of options, Baekhyun and Kyungsoo were right on his heels about the boyfriend he’s bringing to their wedding, and the boyfriend still _doesn’t exist._

There is an option, one Junmyeon has been trying very hard to ignore but one he’ll eventually cave in and do anyways. The simple (ha! simple?) solution of just, you know, summoning a demon. To be his boyfriend. Where _else_ was he going to find someone willing to do that anyways? 

The only problem was with finding the instructions to summon. His friends majoring in summoning would be too nosy, or way too eager to try and summon something not-so-suitable, the books were outdated, plus everyone had a high level of respect for the old wa--

_Oh._

Junmyeon mentally scolds himself when his eyes stray towards his blinking phone, wondering how he could be so _stupid._ The answer was right in front of him. He had been so busy lamenting about how old-fashioned the books were, that he forgot where he could easily get the required information from, and for free at that. A secretive place that held the key to everything and anything one could ever want to know. A place so full of ideas and _creativity._

The internet. 

Junmyeon quickly unlocks his phone, mind racing a mile a minute while he taps open the _Weddit_ app (Witch Reddit! It was very useful, especially for tough times like these when a fake boyfriend needs to materialize A.S.A.P), quickly creating a post. 

**cottonbunny Posted by cottonbunny 0 seconds ago  
Does anyone know how to summon a demon without using blood?  
Reply Share **

He quickly tosses his phone onto his bed, running his fingers over the desk's woodgrains. The dreaded sensation of worry slowly creeps its way through his system, leaving a heavy weight on his heart. How was he going to pull this off? What if he actually _did_ need to use blood? Or what if he just failed, and no one responded and he had to come cl--

His phone dings sharply.

Junmyeon scrambles out of his chair, hissing in pain when he knocks his knees against the top of his desk. He unlocks his phone, trying not to feel so hopeful. There’s a DM request waiting in his chats, the notification blinking. He taps on it with trembling fingers. 

**vivistayswinning 03:43 PM  
Depends on what kind, which depends on the problem I'm assuming u have.**

**cottonbunny 03:43 PM  
It’s complicated, but I just need a common demon. No one too fancy**

**vivistayswinning 03:43 PM  
Hm. What’s the problem?**

**vivistayswinning 03:43 PM  
I don’t want to unnecessarily bother someone, it has to be worth it. **

**cottonbunny 03:43 PM  
Uhhh**

**cottonbunny 03:43 PM  
I don’t think it’d be worth it**

**vivistayswinning 03:44 PM  
Look, you need help, I have answers,**

**vivistayswinning 03:44 PM  
U just have to answer my q’s first. **

**cottonbunny 03:44 PM  
…**

**cottonbunny 03:44 PM  
That’s fair but u can’t laugh**

**vivistayswinning 03:44 PM  
You won’t be able to tell anyways???**

**cottonbunny 03:44 PM  
True. **

**cottonbunny 03:44 PM  
I need a fake bf for a wedding**

**cottonbunny 03:44 PM  
or more like for a week**

**cottonbunny 03:44 PM  
fake bf = random demon I wanna make a deal with**

Junmyeon winces at the text messages. Gosh, texting it out carried the same pain as thinking and saying it. 

**vivistayswinning 03:45 PM  
oh?**

Junmyeon shivers suddenly, as though the stranger was cackling while messaging him. 

**vivistayswinning 03:45 PM  
That is complicated.**

**vivistayswinning 03:45 PM  
I gotchu. **

Junmyeon figures he really shouldn’t be trusting some random stranger on the internet, but then again he is also capital D desperate. So if this goes wrong, he’ll just ostracize himself from society. No biggie.

His phone bings again, dragging his attention back to it. The stranger sends a document, which takes a moment to load, and another moment for Junmyeon to process just what exactly he's received. 

It’s the steps to what seems to be an _extremely_ complicated summoning procedure. Each step clearly requires an extreme eye for detail and no room for error. Junmyeon tended to be meticulous when it came to things anyways, so he’s not too concerned about that. He skims through the instructions, wanting to make sure he’s got everything before returning to the chat. 

**cottonbunny 03:51 PM  
THANK U but man wtf is this**

**cottonbunny 03:51 PM  
where did u even get notes like this??**

**vivistayswinning 03:51 PM  
Ig i have connections.**

**cottonbunny 03:51 PM  
Well thank ur connections for me!!**

**cottonbunny 03:51 PM  
Do you want me to pay u?? If u send u details i can**

**vivistayswinning 03:52 PM  
That won’t be necessary. **

**vivistayswinning 03:52 PM  
Just tell me how it goes. **

Junmyeon’s too relieved to take in all the strangeness from the ideal. He’s on a timer now, a _mission._ He’s officially one step closer to achieving his goal.

It takes him a while to get everything together, but he does. It’s a weird mix of things like ripped out book pages, honey, a strand of unicorn hair, sheep’s fur, a singular dragon scale, and mapo tofu (Junmyeon had a lot of questions about that one). 

He makes sure to take his time in drawing the summoning symbol into the circle with dark ink. Sure, it may leave stains on the dorm floor, but it’s nothing Junmyeon can’t magic away anyways. After what feels like hours of patience, back pain, and ink smudges getting on his clothes it’s _finished._

There’s a strange rumbling, (it’s the _floor,_ Junmyeon almost screams. The floor beneath his feet is _shaking_ ) and suddenly there’s fog pouring into the room (Junmyeon can’t see, and if he wasn’t panicking then he is _now)_ . The lights start to flicker and Junmyeon uses just about all his willpower to remain rooted to where he’s standing, watching as a shadowy figure emerges from the fog. 

(It reminds him of this scene from an anime Baekhyun forced him to watch, _Ouran?_ Was it? Where this one character always emerged from the floor on a circular spinning pedestal, cackling. Somehow, that seems like nothing in comparison to this). 

“Hell,” The figure comments lightly attempting to sweep the clingling fog off himself. “I really have to fix the theatrics of this, it’s just too much these days.” The fog starts to slowly disappear and the lights gradually stabilize. “Sehun I told you if you wanted to see me you could just _call_ it’s much easier than all this nonsen--” The stranger stops mid sentence when he sees Junmyeon standing by his bed, mouth dropped open. 

Junmyeon gapes. Mouth dropped open as he stares at the guy, wondering about how many things he had to have done wrongly in his past lives for the universe to hate him this much. Whoever this guy is, Junmyeon doesn't know him. Doesn’t recognize his face, or his voice, or anything. What he _does_ know is that he's certainly not the demon Junmyeon had been trying to summon. This guy screamed higher up, from his silk shirt to the watch adorning his wrist. 

“Oh,” Demon dude blinks, eyebrows furrowing “You’re not Sehun.” and then his relaxed demeanour shifts, the room darkens once more and his eyes glow red. Junmyeon gulps, feeling this invisible pressure, like vines from underneath were wrapping around his feet. Climbing up his body, like they were threatening to choke him. 

“Uh,” Junmyeon starts eloquently, unsure of what’s happening. Or who Sehun is. “I’m... Junmyeon?” He wants to say more but his brain provides him with white noise instead of words. “I’m just a university student.” 

“I’m Yixing,” He says in a voice that sounds like thousands. The way he says it makes Junmyeon feel as if he should know who he is. “How did you summon me?” His eyes are seriously glowing, like, the kind of glow a nightlight would try to achieve. 

“The-- the instructions,” Junmyeon replies, feeling faint. He’s going to die. It’s final. “They were supposed to summon a demon, are you,” Junmyeon pauses, looking at him up and down. “Are you a demon?” It’s not as if demon’s weren’t in the Main World, they just preferred to stay in their home, the Underworld.

“I certainly am,” There is something dark _slithering_ on the floor, and that’s proof enough because Junmyeon is already trying not to let out the biggest scream in the history of him screaming. Was he going to die? At the hands of this insanely handsome and scary creature? “And what exactly are you?” 

“A, well,” Junmyeon is trying not to stammer. Or faint. “I’m a witch.” 

And just like that, the darkness is lifted. The tense and scary atmosphere bleeds into nothingness and the vines retreat as Yixing’s eyes cool down into a dark, endless black hue. “You should have said so! Humans try to summon me for all sorts of crazy things, mass murders, ending political careers. You know,” He waves his hand dismissvely, and no. Junmyeon doesn’t know. “My Mum’s a witch,” He smiles, and there are dimples. Oh. Ok. The scary demon man has dimples. And his Mum is a witch. “What do you need? I assume you have a problem.” 

“Right,” Junmyeon says slowly, “Can you uh, could you,” His mind is racing, and now it’s sinking in that this is the demon Junmyeon summoned to be his fake boyfriend. And now he’s going to explain himself. And probably risk death. 

“Oh _hell,”_ Junmyeon blurts out, ignoring how Yixing blinks in surprise. “What-- oh _no,_ this wasn’t supposed to happen, this wasn’t-- great. I just made this even _more_ complicated--” he doesn’t even realize that the Yixing has even asked a question, opting to pull out his phone instead to scroll through the carefully texted instructions. "I messed up, I totally messed up." He bemoans, scrolls getting faster "Oh _no,_ I wasn't supposed to summon a higher up " With each frantic statement, Junmyeon's voice gets higher in pitch. "And now, oh _no_ , now I have to message this guy to say the instructions were wrong, Baekhyun and Kyungsoo are gonna _kill me oh no--"_

"Hey, Hey-- Junmyeon was it?” 

Junmyeon looks up, taken aback by how the stranger seems to be holding back _laughter._

"What seems to be the issue?" Yixing glances at his watch, "I’ve got a meeting in a bit, but maybe I can still help?"

"Oh I don't think you _want_ to help," Junmyeon stresses, running a hand through his hair, feeling flustered. "Seriously, you don't, it's fine. I'll just-- I'll just find someone else. Somehow. Maybe I'll just go tell them--"

“You know,” Yixing gazes at Junmyeon, and his eyes flicker red. "I'm more powerful than I seem. So whatever problem you were going to hand off to some...” he waves his hand dismissively. “I’ll be able to take care of it in less than half the time. ” He looks around, peering around Junmyeon’s dorm room. “ We can call it a favour considering how I think I nearly killed you with shock. Where are we anyways, a university? Ah, you’re a uni-student, aren't you.You probably have enough stress as it is, I can just-- “

"No! No it’s fine," Junmyeon hastily replies, stuffing his phone into his pocket. "It’s not really, it's not a problem that can be fixed in a hurry." every word increases Junmyeon's wish for the ground to swallow him up by ten. "It's just, super embarrassing. Really embarrassing. You don’t want to get involved with this. It’ll be…” Junmyeon bites his lip, searching the depths of his mind for the word he’s looking for. “...Scandalous?” 

“Well I’ve had my fair share of scandals, so whatever this is will be nothing more than a dent.” He replies cooly, staring Junmyeon down. “Now are you going to tell me, or do I have to turn to...other methods to get it out?” 

“It might be pressurizing?” That’s Junmyeon’s last attempt to save this guy from torture. 

“I don’t fold under pressure easily,” He shrugs. 

“Oh please teach me your ways,” Junmyeon mumbles out before he can even register what he’s saying. 

“Gladly,” He grins, “Now?” 

"I need a fake boyfriend." Junmyeon blurts out hurriedly, looking pointedly at the ground,"For a little bit, so if you can arrange someone for me to fake date, that'd be _great--"_

"Ooh,” Yixing grins even _bigger._ “This should be interesting. Consider it a done deal." and before Junmyeon can even take in what’s happening, he snaps his fingers. There's a searing but brief touch of pain on Junmyeon's right shoulder, a hot sensation that burns his shoulder. 

“Oh my gosh,” Junmyeon gasps, blinking his tears away. “Ow.” 

“Sorry,” The demon’s nose scrunches. “I wish it was less painful.” 

“That’s fine and all but, I mean, well, who is it?” 

“Who’s what?” 

“The, the um, _partner_ you’ve chosen?” 

“Isn’t that obvious?” Yixing pauses, ironically smiling devilishly at Junmyeon. “Me.”

**Author's Note:**

> *emerges out of the ground like rengai from ouran high school host club, cackling* YES! MY TRUE WRITING STRONG SUIT! CRACK COMEDY!


End file.
